Pit Wagner: Life Forecast

My dear Pit,

Ah yes, I have long foreseen that you live alone. I can confirm it now from observing your unusually muscular palms. Without your thumb and pinky in your picture, however, the clarity of your life’s luck and luxury is foggy.

The jagged and uneven lines of the augural hemisphere of your palm call to me, in a slightly higher than comfortable pitch. They whine... there is an alternate-dimension Pit Wagner that is disturbingly accomplished. If you feed any and all cats you cross paths with, you may be able to siphon some success from the multitriillionaire tech giant CEO version of yourself.

You appear to have a peculiar mark on your hand. The nature of the mark holds great significance. If it is a smudge on the camera, it means the subject’s relationship with money is the exact same as the relationship with the mother. If it is a mole, you will soon be accused of a crime you didn’t commit, sent to prison, and face several attempts on your life. Unfortunately, it is against cosmoconsciousness ethical conduct to inform you of the proximity of your death. Instead, perhaps clean your lens.

May you live precisely as long as you are meant to,

Benezraldo