Jiminy Schmiminy: Dream Critique

My dear Jiminy,

This sort of dream is common for children who listen to too much of the band Kansas. I recommend that during the next alignment of the Moon in Gemini, when we all become able to communicate more deeply with our inner child, you tell yours that his taste is not so good.

Moving on, the second act of the dream featured far more surprises than the first. I am particularly concerned by the grapefruit twist. It is plain from these developments that you harbor a deep-seated phobia of babies. The only sure way to resolve such an ignorant fear is head-on confrontation. I urge you to find the nearest baby and challenge it to a contest of physical ability—a drum-to-the-death, a figure skating competition, whatever you have the most experience with. Please consider carefully what I say.

Dreams often have an incoherent beauty to them, painting with raw imagination on a canvas of impermanence. Yours, however, seemed a bit reach-y. For instance, how does a munchkin get into a high chair? I respect creativity in a dream, but this was simply not believable. Your dream earns a score of waxing crescent moon.

Good luck shaking your fears,

Benezraldo